Our Journey

So, how did we get here?  Well it all started one day when I was sitting at work with my team & our supervisor was telling us about the little boy, he & his wife were adopting from China.  I was asking a lot of questions & just thought I was being a good social worker.  Craig later comes into my office & asked me if I really was interested in adopting from China.  That question made me stop & think..."hmmm, maybe I was."  So, I go home and say "Mark......"  (I know you can't hear my tone, but its the tone that when Mark hears it, he knows something is up!)  Well we decided after lots of research and prayers to make application.  Our offical application date with our adoption agency, Chinese Children Adoption International (CCAI) was April 26, 2006.  At that time, we were told from application to travel, it would take 14 months.  Oh boy, do things change! 

Actually, the initial changes were two miscarriages that we suffered after making application.  We didn't know if we wanted to continue with the adoption or not, or just focus on fertility issues.  Time goes by and it is Christmas Eve 2006 and Mark's mom, Ann shows us an article about changes China was making in their adoption requirements.  Based on those changes, we would no longer qualify.  So...decision made, we move forward.  We have until May 1, 2007, when the changes went into place.  We pushed through all of the paperwork, mind boggling amounts of paperwork to complete our dossier.  I cannot even begin to describe to you the paperwork process, however I will compare it to labor.  It really hurts, but after you hold that sweet little baby in your arms, you forget all about the pain.  Since we are currently still in the middle of the "pain," I will have to let you know later, if I forget all about it!  All I can say, is with my oldest daughter I had 3 epidurals.  I could use one of those right about now!  Anyways, our dossier was sent to China and offically logged in April 20, 2007. Whew...we made it, as did all the other thousands of families trying to beat the deadline.  From January 1, 2007 until May 1, 2007, China received more applications than they do in a typical year.  So, we wait and wait, and wait.  With every year that passes, our homestudy must be updated, which means, new fingerprints, more paperwork, and more costs.  In the mean time, China was allowing concurrent adoptions. We decided to pursue a domestic adoption.  So, a whole new set of adoption paperwork, background checks, finger printing, homestudy and an adoption profile are completed.  And...we wait.......

As we wait, we experience many tragedies.  First, Mark's maternal grandparents die due to carbon monoxide poisoning.  A few months later, my Mom is diagnosed with uterine cancer.  We are told the surgery was successful and all the cancer was gone.  However, she continues to have complications.  In 8 months, she was hospitalized 8 times.  Although she should be getting better, she isn't.  The day before mother's day, my paternal grandma passes away.  Shortly after that, an elderly man that I was a guardian for, passes away.  July 31, 2008, my Dad retires after 40+ years at his job.  We can hardly celebrate, because a few days later in August 2008, my mom goes back to the hospital for the 8th time.  This time, they discover, the cancer is back, or most likely never gone.  It has spread all over.  We take her home on hospice, caring for her around the clock.  She dies just a few days later.  A month later, our immigration approval for our China adoption expires.  Who cares?!  I'm numb. 

So, we deal with grief of those we lost and the grief of the adoptions not going as we hoped.  We decided to try foster care/adoption.  We go to all of the trainings and we get a call about three siblings that are getting ready to become eligible for adoption.  They come to our home for respite (babysitting) on a Saturday, so we could get to know them.  The kids are not aware of the possibility of adoption and just were having fun playing.  After they leave, we think we might want to get more information about adopting them.  The next day, I fall off our front cement steps & end up in the emergency room, with torn muscles in my right arm.  I am put on medical leave.  I am given pain pills, that made me loopy!  I believe I was making profound statements to my family and could not understand why Mark & Bethany kept laughing at me.  I guess they just don't appreciate brilliance!  The next day is Monday and that afternoon, we get a call about having our profile shown.  We agree, thinking nothing will come of it, as has been the case so many times before.  We put it out of our minds.  Tuesday morning, discussions are had regarding beginning to transition the set of three siblings to our home.  That night, we get a call.  I see from caller id it was the adoption agency.  Big deal, calling to say we weren't chosen, we've heard that before.  However, I hear Mark say "good news?!"  I snap to attention...what? what? what?!!!!!  We have been chosen!!!!!!  AND....the birth mom is being induced the very next day!  We decide that after all of this time, waiting, right when we decide to adopt these children, we are chosen.  We felt it was meant to be and let those involved know that we would not be able to adopt the siblings.  They end up later getting adopted by an amazing couple that we went to foster care training with!  So, the next day....Wednesday, June 3, 2009, our son is born!  His birth mom discharges from the hopsital the next day, and he is discharged on Friday.  Since we had not met in person yet, it was decided our son would go to cradle care over the weekend and we would meet his birth mom in person on Monday.  That gave me the weekend to get off the "loopy pills" and think more clearly.  My arm was in a sling, but off we went to Omaha to meet Alyssa, one of the most important people in our lives and our precious little boy, whom Alyssa named Blayten, a combination of his two birth brothers' names.  Life was good as we oohed & awed over every amazing thing Blayten did!

So, it was time to update our China homestudy, yet again, and this time we decided to add the waiting child program. This is a program that opens us up to children with various medical needs.  We decide what we feel comfortable with and complete a medical conditions sheet.  Our's was officially accepted at CCAI on June 3, 2010, exactly one year after Blayten was born. 

So, it is the week before Thanksgiving 2010 and I am looking through the profiles of available children shown on CCAI's website, as I always do & I see this little girl with the most amazing eyes and I instantly feel that "this is my daughter." I had complete confidence she was meant to be in our family. So, I immediately call CCAI and had to leave messages and I emailed as well. The next day, I am told by Pam at CCAI that another family was already looking at her profile. I was devastated and thought it was over, they surely would want her. A couple of days go by & her picture is still showing. I talked to Pam & was told the family was talking to their doctors. A few more days go by...same thing. Its now Thanksgiving & I am telling everyone in my family, about this little girl and how these people were still "considering" her. The next day, Friday, I got this great sense of peace & assurance. I felt this family was not going to accept her & on Monday Pam would call us. On Monday night....Pam calls us, just as I had felt she would.  The other family declined and Pam emails us all of the information about this little girl so we could review it and have our doctor look at the medical reports.  The next day, Tuesday, November 30, 2010, we officially accept Dang Xue Bin!  Pam said, she knew in her heart, Xue Bin was meant to be with us, but protocol had to be followed.  What's meant to be, shall be! 
So, since then we have been working on lots more paperwork, including getting our immigration approval, since it expired back in September 2008.  We are close to the final steps and soon will be getting our visas.  We are hoping to travel in June, but our goal is to have Anastyn Grace XueBin Freeling home by her birthday, July 20th!  So...that is our story and we will keep you posted as we go along!

Thanks for your support!

Teresa