Hope

Hope is a word that has come to mean so much to me.  In fact, our oldest daughter, Bethany has it as a middle name, well one of her middle names.  Yes...I give my children 2 middle names!  They can thank me or curse me later.  Perhaps someday I will have grand children with NO middle names, from the "trauma" I have inflicted on my kids' poor little lives!  Anyways, the word hope or name Hope did not necessarily mean anything special to me until I was just about 3 months pregnant with Bethany and my then husband left our marriage and moved out of state.  Now I won't go into all of the awful, painful details, because that part of my life is over and I have moved on.  I will say however it was the greatest adversity I have ever faced.  I read a book at that time by Dr. Charles Stanley that said we should thank God during times of adversity.  Well that sounded like the last thing I wanted to do, but you know, I AM thankful.  My life has turned out so much different and even better than I could have ever imagined!  You learn who you are during those times of adversity and what you are capable of.

So, during those days of horrible darkness, I would wake up and for a split second all was right with the world.  Then the reality sunk in and I was furious.  Furious that this situation was created, not because of my choosing but because of another person's choices.  I was also furious that God had not taken my life like I had prayed.  So my typical start of the day was to yell at God "God.. you made me live...now YOU get me through this day!"  I lived second to second, minute to minute for a long time.  One of those days, I was driving down the street and recalled the pastor's sermon from the previous Sunday.  It spoke about not a sparrow falling from the sky without God knowing about it.  He knows the number of hairs on your head.  That sermon changed my life.  I thought, He knew!  He knew my then husband was going to leave and He still decided this baby needed to come into the world.  WOW!  There is a reason!  This baby has a purpose so great, that this child MUST be born, no matter what was happening.   From then on, I never once worried again that I would miscarry or that something would be wrong.  God was taking care of us and I could could deal with other issues I needed to deal with....the baby was going to be fine!

On an absolutely gorgeous fall day in October, Bethany Amanda Hope was born!  She took her own sweet time getting here, as she always does...nothing has changed folks.  I added Hope to her name because I did not want all of this to be for nothing.  I had great hope that my life would be amazing and great things would happen.  I had hope that this little baby girl had a purpose in life and would make a difference in this world.  My baby girl, now 14 years old, was confirmed this April.  Her confirmation verse was Jeremiah 29:11 "'I know the plans that I have for you' declares the Lord.  'They are plans for good and not disaster, plans to give you a future filled with hope.'"  I LOVE that verse and it definitely is Bethany's life verse, perhaps mine as well!

So needless to say, "hope" means a great deal to me and if you look around our home, you will find many things that have "hope" on them.  On April 6, 2011, we received a great surprise....a video with our little Anna Grace in it, WALKING by the way!  The last medical update we had stated she couldn't stand and now she was walking!  Anyways, the video was sent to our adoption agency from Show Hope!  Up to this point, I had never heard of Show Hope, but oh how I quickly learned.  Show Hope's website states " Show Hope is a ministry that enables individuals and communities to change the world for orphans by not only addressing a child’s need for food, shelter, care, and spiritual nourishment, but by also addressing the root issue for an orphan: the lack of a family."  One of the ways this is done is by their special care centers  for orphans.  It turns out our little girl has been living in the care center in the Henan Province.....Maria's Big House of HOPE since Christmas Eve 2009!  This care center is in memory of Christian music artist, Steven Curtis Chapman and his wife, Mary Beth Chapman's little girl, Maria who died in a tragic accident. Because of  the Chapmans and the love they have for Chinese orphan children, our little one has been in a place where she is loved and greatly cared for.  I will mention that we are BIG Veggie Tales watchers in this family.  If you don't know what Veggie Tales are...well they are singing vegetables that talk about God.  Our son, cannot get enough of it.  One of my favorite's is the story called "It's a meaningful life."  It features a song, "Meant To Be," I LOVED by Steven Curtis Chapman.  I couldn't believe that our daughter, was in the home he and his wife created and continue to grow.  I had goose bumps!

I call the video we received from Show Hope the best birthday gift ever, as it came in between mine and Mark's birthdays.    Suddenly, we were getting lots of pictures and videos of Anastyn from Show Hope and from many of the volunteers who traveled to China to help care for the children.  We learned a team was traveling to China in 2 weeks and would gladly take a care package to Anna for us!  Our daughter was going to get things we personally chose for her, to play and cuddle with.    Something else happened, that I never would have guessed.  We started connecting, through the wonderful technology of facebook, with volunteers who had held and kissed, and cared for our precious baby.  We got more videos, more pictures, more stories.  We were beginning to bond with our little one, through all of the pictures and videos.  Incredible gifts, that had she not been at Maria's Big House of Hope, we would not have gotten.  These are gifts not only for us, but for Anna, as we have a history for her.  She can see what she looked like.  She can see where she lived.  She can see all of the wonderful people who cared for her and loved her.  She can see a picture of her first birthday, eating cake!

That video, that came as a surprise, gave us hope!  She was real and soon she would be in our arms, in our lives, forever!  I do not believe it was a coincidence that all of this happened.  It truly was "Meant To Be" and there were so many things that confirmed that to me, including "Hope."  My daughter, is living in a house of Hope and soon she will be living in our house of hope!  Jeremiah 29:11 is not just Bethany's life verse, it is our sweet little Anna Grace's life verse too.  "'I know the plans that I have for you' declares the Lord.  'They are plans for good and not disaster, plans to give you a future filled with HOPE.'" Amen!